As a new mom, every day is a new experience and when you are dealing with an infant, you are bound to put some things in your mouth that you have never experienced before.
- Someone else's vomit. Yes, my son has thrown up in my mouth and I can tell you that formula is sour and disgusting. How do these babies drink this shit day in and day out?
- Pee. I have a baby boy. Enough said.
- A zipper. A lock and key. Yes, I have learned to keep my words in my mouth. Between unsolicited advice from people and the daily aggravation my significant other bestows upon me, I have learned to walk away quietly.
- Cymbalta. Unfortunately, new parenthood blessed me with postpartum depression. I chose medication as an option of relief.
- Baby Rice Cereal. THAT SHIT IS GROSS!
- Baby fingers and toes. Who hasn't?
- Pureed apples, bananas, peaches, and pears. Not too shabby!
- Pacifiers. Always on the floor, always covered in pet hair.
- Baby drool. Every day, all the time. There is something about a baby's wet, goobery, open mouth kiss.
- Baby Mum-Mum biscuits. Seriously people???? I've tasted Milkbones with more flavor than these damn things.
- Pizza....way too much pizza. Oh, and Chinese Food....way too much Chinese Food. Explain to me how a new mommy can take off the baby weight when you don't have time to cook healthy?
- Beer, wine, and Rumchata shots. I've become the closet drinker. Gone are the days of social drinker, TJ. I don't go out anymore, so I just drink at home.
It's official....I am a mommy~TJ