It is hard. VERY hard. Yeah, yeah, you know. Everyone tells you that. Learning how to cope as a new mom, breastfeeding, loss of sleep, yada yada. All of those things are a given. What people fail to tell you is this...You will hate your spouse/significant other.

Now, I'm sure you are thinking to yourself, "Wow! That's harsh! I love my husband, we get along great. We are both excited for this baby." Yep! I'm sure you are. I am not a cruel bitch trying to burst your bubble either. I am warning you like my dear father warned me. I didn't believe him either. Your relationship will change. You will hate him. Reasons? Let me list them for you.

1) His life DOES NOT change. Sure, having a new little responsibility is change. But, from the moment he leaves you behind in the hospital to go home and "get some sleep" the evil pattern begins. 

a) He gets to sleep through the night. You don't. Middle of the night feedings is all you. He is not sleep deprived.
b) He gets to leave the house everyday and have interaction with other adult humans. You don't.
c) His social life thrives. Don't think for a minute the stopping for a beer after work on Friday night ends.
d) And since we are covering that, you STILL don't get to drink.

2) He JUST DOESN'T GET IT. I'm not going to elaborate here for it is different for every mom. I guarantee you will come back and read this one day and say "No shit" to yourself.

3) He is still as lazy as ever. If not more. At least in your eyes. Fucking do some laundry! Do something to help!

4) He doesn't understand "Baby Blues". You will cry as a  new mom...A LOT. He will be sympathetic at first but then it wears him down. 

5) Your sex life is pretty much zero. You will not want to be touched. Especially by someone who irritates the living piss out of you. 

Now, don't freak out! It DOES and I repeat, it DOES get better in time. Those first 3 months are a real bitch and they are trying. You will fight everyday. You will silently beg him to just leave. And you will want to poison him. It's a known fact. We as woman just expect way to damn much out of the male race. Ask any mom and I bet she has a story or five to tell you about how she wanted to murder her husband after childbirth. If I haven't killed mine yet, you will be just fine! ~TJ



12/12/2012 8:41am

Oh man. I totally forgot about the crying thing. Ugh! Before I had our daughter (11 1/2 years ago) I only cried a. when I was sad or b. when I was really frustrated which seemed reasonable. After her birth I cried and STILL cry at stupid stuff like commercials or songs or kids romping through piles of leaves. It's like I'm broken or have a leak or something and don't know how to turn the waterworks off. Argh! How frustrating! Uh oh...here I go again....>sniff, sniff<...


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    T.J. is a 40 year old, first time, new mommy. She lives with her long time boyfriend and baby daddy in a suburb of Chicago. Her blog will feature the funny side of being a first time mom.

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